Nursing home
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     hershy
Member
Username: hershy
Post Number: 263
Registered: 10-2002Rating: 
Votes: 1
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| | Thursday, July 08, 2004 - 09:31 pm: |  
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An old gentleman is placed into a nursing home that has an excellent reputation.
One extremely pleasant Sunday afternoon, the residents are taken outside to enjoy the sunshine and pleasant breeze. This old gentleman is sat on a garden seat amongst the rose bushes and lilac trees is full bloom. He slowly starts to lean towards the left and looks about to fall over when one of the nurses notices his unbalanced state and rushes over, sits him upright and asks him if he is OK.
The gentleman said that he is fine.
A little later the nurse happens to notice that the old guy is now leaning dangerously to the opposite side about to topple out of his seat so she rushes to him and again sets him back upright yet again enquiring if he is OK.
"I'm fine" replies the gentleman.
Not 2 minutes later the nurse notices that this time the old fellow is leaning far forward and looks about to fall out of his seat when she rushes up to him, props him upright again and asks if he needs anything.
No, I am fine replies the old digger just as his 2 sons and daughter arrive on a visit.
"How is the nursing home ?" asks one of the sons.
"Excellent" replies the old gentleman, "the food is great, the residents are very nice and the staff are very caring but they won't let me fart "
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dogalog
Member
Username: dogalog
Post Number: 149
Registered: 03-2004Rating: N/A
Votes: 0
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| | Friday, July 09, 2004 - 12:44 pm: |
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there can be no conspiracy,cos how did you get left so very stupid.
A crowd once freed barabbas.made me sympathise with prisoners,got me crowd psyching.has this finger typing.
A group psychology
once i got dogged, ended up in Woodfed
6 months til i got fed,nah i werent a hunger striker
had genuine remorse;
but ya just couldn't force
on me stuff in sauce
yes you2d watch what went past yer yap,if ever ya eyes did clap on the Woodford Kitchen N Catering crew.cos at woodfed they assemble n resemble the brew.
Theres a rock spider in the larder
boob cat stirs the soup vat
flasher mashes taters
runny noser does batter
HIVer hes d cutter n ex constables do vegetables
and the oldest lag,hes such a wag;tags as bummooner,
hes d spooner n our very next Martin[bryant]martin he does collecting and carting;does the dunny detail too
Yes you fight your appetite when all thats cooking has a flavour you just cant savour.
its a culinary delighter says d rock spider
but hes such a louse gotta be a ruse on d mousse'its mouse.
and boobcat ah boobcat he can be yer mate, he can make it chocolate
but ya gotta realise youll have ta fratenise otherwise it'll be date.
flashers wrists are supple itll be whipped and rippled to a T
runny noser n hiv would a taken me bribe/bait
but d ex-constables beat me up 4 it.
Bummooner hes got the special salt,dont eat the lot.hullo dolt
yeh our very own martin cant stop laughin bringing the next recipe to me .
PS
Woodfed/ford had a prison before it ever got d festival.i've never been to either.
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dogalog
Member
Username: dogalog
Post Number: 156
Registered: 03-2004Rating: N/A
Votes: 0
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| | Friday, July 09, 2004 - 04:45 pm: |
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in the centre for correction,all d boys were waitin
yeh behind d wire and lock,watching the clock
n 1 annouced hey i got some private stock
6 months in a bucket under seal
sugar,waternn lemon peel
yeah its a rocket,longs as yer forget bout d bucket.
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dogalog
Member
Username: dogalog
Post Number: 157
Registered: 03-2004Rating: N/A
Votes: 0
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| | Friday, July 09, 2004 - 05:14 pm: |
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No women get much of ago here ,do they.i'm a 74/6 convert to d lib(eration),i've also read dat women make the best traders.
who we got ?unless it is true that new2waix is really
lb.gee i dont think i can look at a candle again
and 4 a card carrying hippie nixcandle?dats tragic.
there has to be some re assurance given that its not 20 people with multis posting.what i saw in oh 1 of d non sects/anyhow it was a first post and the dill was trying to set up private email service.
look who ever dat cadet is ,he is 4it on non reply to post alone,imho
who the dickens is this hilarius pontif prude ya got going?
obvious he's angligan 4 a start.very big on religion is dogalog but we're not here to talk about that.
WHERE is my 'Do not Forsake me oh my darling" please.
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dogalog
Member
Username: dogalog
Post Number: 158
Registered: 03-2004Rating: N/A
Votes: 0
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| | Friday, July 09, 2004 - 05:50 pm: |
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st iss got em on the run.i'm bein censored true.ever bin censrd st?dey make yer computer well flip and its alWAYS
if ye pout
s.p.i.d.e.r. yeah i know he groups wid mos1996,but i reckon he's jus high"new age"bet he wuz somethin like a tv exec or worse st a bl..dy schoolteacher.
st i know yer tiuned in,ya know one of the worst occupations tax/dbusin. is schoolteacher.ya wanna know why?cos all day dey are the adored of children.they get to thinking/talking/st reacting like always as adult to a child.
andST jr jus cant let such ATTITUDE go by.
just wanted you to know this isn't all bout you.
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dogalog
Member
Username: dogalog
Post Number: 169
Registered: 03-2004Rating: N/A
Votes: 0
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| | Saturday, July 10, 2004 - 12:40 pm: |
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why am i not surprised?ouhah if i could answer that?
so its the lets go someplace else ,all rightio aintyeres.
school holidays?surely yer not all on a walk in the park.
gee,aaaahhhggggg i remembers d howl. no dont give it up ,kumbia,and i member cris at easter.my fave wuz when ann did d IC-Icant Carry on.
it was in trading groups,east melbn
took 10days 4 anyone to reply,if they ever did!
ALWAYS,always get this kinda grin,ann,Readin YOUR posts???
is it true what i bin told
dat ya really is
a small portable radio?
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oldwombat
Member
Username: oldwombat
Post Number: 130
Registered: 04-2004Rating: N/A
Votes: 0
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| | Saturday, July 10, 2004 - 01:14 pm: |
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She won't answer you mate, told you, away with the fambily.
a small portable radio......constant source of chatter?
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dogalog
Member
Username: dogalog
Post Number: 177
Registered: 03-2004Rating: N/A
Votes: 0
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| | Sunday, July 11, 2004 - 11:59 am: |
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For the new arrivals to the Australian economy,Brian Maher ran the second biggest scheme for tax avoidance in the 1970/80's[the first is TRUSTS]Basically it was a paper trail of companies that led to an end at the'bottom of the harbour'
When Brian came up for trial,the prosecution as is their want,had Brian painted out as a sole reason why the Government had left children starving,yes to hear them tell it,every child would have eaten from silver spoons if not for Brian Maher.
Now Brian was caught up in that legal hole where you cant allow yourself to be cross examined.Refuse or falsely answer questions and it's perjury with more time in the slimming farm.Answer truthfully and Brian could be wasted away right in court so his only defence was to make an unsworn
STATEMENT FROM THE DOCK
[which follows]
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dogalog
Member
Username: dogalog
Post Number: 178
Registered: 03-2004Rating: N/A
Votes: 0
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| | Sunday, July 11, 2004 - 12:18 pm: |
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Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury,I should be appearing before you today a HERO.
If the money I saved my clients from the maw of Government,with my unique accountancy system,had been used for employment,new machinery and the advancement of the economy,verily Australia would be milk and honey for this and all future generations.oh yes,then me you would of cheered.
I stand before you now branded Shyster,bloated,despised because my clients took the money I saved them and spent it on manshions,a dozen cars,dear jury,some of my clients wear mink underwear and I haven't yet told you of the waste done by the Women!
It is not I who deserve your condemnation.
Brian Maher was a real crook but no one ever said he didn't give it his best shot.I sat once in his heidous east euro original art deco green upholstered lounge and Lolled.
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ann
Member
Username: ann
Post Number: 96
Registered: 04-2004Rating: N/A
Votes: 0
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| | Sunday, July 11, 2004 - 08:28 pm: |
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You will always be a hero to me dear Dog.
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ann
Member
Username: ann
Post Number: 102
Registered: 04-2004Rating: N/A
Votes: 0
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| | Monday, July 12, 2004 - 08:24 am: |
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Question...How do you get a small boy to rise earlie in the morning??????????
Richard Cranium!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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ann
Member
Username: ann
Post Number: 104
Registered: 04-2004Rating: N/A
Votes: 0
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| | Monday, July 12, 2004 - 10:08 pm: |
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Colin
Do you have an explanation for the above thread?
Is it possible I could have been 'verballed'?
Thanks
Ann
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ann
Member
Username: ann
Post Number: 105
Registered: 04-2004Rating: N/A
Votes: 0
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| | Monday, July 12, 2004 - 10:10 pm: |
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Colin,
Sorry, I meant post.
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