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     holycow
Member
Username: holycow
Post Number: 697
Registered: 08-2004Rating: 
Votes: 1
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| | Thursday, January 20, 2005 - 09:51 pm: |  
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New year new thread... the #3 took a little too long to load.
SUCCESS
At age 4 success is not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is having friends.
At age 16 success is having a drivers license.
At age 20 success is having sex.
At age 35 success is having money.
At age 50 success is having money.
At age 60 success is having sex.
At age 70 success is having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is having friends.
At age 80 success is not peeing in your pants.
HC
"... if you've got a chart, I have an opinion!"
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holycow
Member
Username: holycow
Post Number: 698
Registered: 08-2004Rating: N/A
Votes: 0
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| | Thursday, January 20, 2005 - 09:53 pm: |
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Some famous Quotes...
Famous Quotes
"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." Woody Allen
"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night." Rodney Dangerfield
"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL." Lynn Lavner
"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope." Camille Paglia
"Sex is one of the nine reasons for incarnation. The other eight are unimportant." George Burns
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship." Sharon Stone
"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps." Tiger Woods
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." Jack Nicholson
"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is." Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady, and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor)
"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." Robin Williams
"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place." Billy Crystal
"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful." Robert De Niro
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?" Dustin Hoffman
"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked'." Jerry Seinfeld
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time." Robin Williams
"It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom." Joan Rivers
"Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money can buy." Steve Martin
"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life." Elmo Phillips
"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same." Oscar Wilde
"It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married." George Burns
HC
"... if you've got a chart, I have an opinion!"
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holycow
Member
Username: holycow
Post Number: 699
Registered: 08-2004Rating: N/A
Votes: 0
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| | Thursday, January 20, 2005 - 09:56 pm: |
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CHINESE WISDOM
Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
HC
"... if you've got a chart, I have an opinion!"
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holycow
Member
Username: holycow
Post Number: 700
Registered: 08-2004Rating: N/A
Votes: 0
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| | Friday, January 21, 2005 - 08:17 am: |
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Here is a GREAT Aussie Story...
HC
"... if you've got a chart, I have an opinion!"
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holycow
Member
Username: holycow
Post Number: 713
Registered: 08-2004Rating: N/A
Votes: 0
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| | Sunday, January 23, 2005 - 07:55 pm: |
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What women want in a man at age 22:
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover
What women want in a man at age 32:
1. Nice looking (preferably with hair)
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week
What women want in a man at age 42:
1. Not too ugly (bald head is fine)
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends
What women want in a man at age 52:
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends
What women want in a man at age 62:
1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend
What women want in a man at age 72:
1. Breathing
2. Doesn't miss the toilet
HC
"... if you've got a chart, I have an opinion!"
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holycow
Member
Username: holycow
Post Number: 714
Registered: 08-2004Rating: N/A
Votes: 0
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| | Sunday, January 23, 2005 - 07:56 pm: |
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I'm just a simple man with a simple wish...
When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.
When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion. So I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.
In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.
When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.
When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.
When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.
I am now 40 and am looking for a girl with very big tits...
HC
"... if you've got a chart, I have an opinion!"
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holycow
Member
Username: holycow
Post Number: 716
Registered: 08-2004Rating: N/A
Votes: 0
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| | Sunday, January 23, 2005 - 07:59 pm: |
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the holy grail in essay writing...
A university creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay containing the following elements:
1) Religion
2) Royalty
3) Sex
4) Mystery
The prizewinner wrote:
"My God," said the queen, "I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it?
HC
"... if you've got a chart, I have an opinion!"
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holycow
Member
Username: holycow
Post Number: 718
Registered: 08-2004Rating: 
Votes: 3
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| | Sunday, January 23, 2005 - 08:05 pm: |
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... as I was making a point not too long ago  ...
SHIT
Shit may be the most powerful word in the English language. It's definitely the most flexible!
For example:
You can be shit faced, be shit out of luck, or have shit for brains.
With little effort you can get your shit together, find a place for your shit or decide to shit or get off the pot.
You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, find shit, lose shit, forget shit, and tell others to eat shit and die.
You can shit or go blind, have a shit fit or just shit your life away.
People can be shit headed, shit brained, shit blinded, and shit over.
Some people know their shit while others can't tell the difference between shit and Shinola.
There are luck shits, dumb shits, crazy shits, and sweet shits.
There is bull shit, horse shit, chicken shit, ostrich shit, and goose shit.
You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, or duck when the shit hits the fan.
You can take a shit, give a shit, or serve shit on a shingle.
You can find yourself in deep shit or be happier than a pig in shit.
Some days are colder than shit, some are hotter than shit, and some days are just plain shitty.
Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and there are times when you feel like shit.
You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit, the wrong shit, or a lot of weird shit.
You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle.
Sometimes you really need this shit and sometimes you don't want any shit at all.
Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times you swim in a lake of shit and come out smelling like a rose.
Shit!
When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of communication.
And remember, once you know your shit, you don't need to know anyone elses.
ps: Colin, please feel free to remove this one if it has gone over the limit... and my apology.
HC
"... if you've got a chart, I have an opinion!"
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holycow
Member
Username: holycow
Post Number: 725
Registered: 08-2004Rating: N/A
Votes: 0
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| | Tuesday, January 25, 2005 - 07:25 am: |
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Here is a formula to calculate whether you are feeling 'low' although it's meant for other purposes; I think it "might" help. Make the necessary changes, like changing (d) to your monthly trading income, etc. (need a bit of creativity here).
And Here is the news article.
The model is: [W + (D-d)] x TQ
M x NA
The equation is broken down into seven variables: (W) weather, (D) debt, (d) monthly salary, (T) time since Christmas, (Q) time since failed quit attempt, (M) low motivational levels and (NA) the need to take action.
ps: thanks for the sh*t joke feedback - I agree it was/is done in bad taste..., I think I should have shown more "class" than that! 
HC
"... if you've got a chart, I have an opinion!"
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holycow
Member
Username: holycow
Post Number: 726
Registered: 08-2004Rating: N/A
Votes: 0
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| | Tuesday, January 25, 2005 - 07:35 am: |
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I'd like to make a quick note here... sometimes in November last year (I think), I read an analyst or some kind of "reputable" market watcher making a comment in the outlook in 2005... can't find the article(buried somewhere in my PC) - anyway he was giving a CAUTION - WATCH OUT on 25 Jan 2005, which if my brain is still intact and has moved back from my knee to my head since this morning - he was saying this day is of some kind of importance and is a inflexion point in the market!
He was referring to the US market, btw.
HC
"... if you've got a chart, I have an opinion!"
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holycow
Member
Username: holycow
Post Number: 744
Registered: 08-2004Rating: N/A
Votes: 0
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| | Thursday, January 27, 2005 - 09:42 am: |
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now I have to dig out whoever that analyst is who seems to have made a very good call...
1) Good volume and decent adv/dec ratio
SPX
1) 25/1/05 was the short term bottom;
2) the bearish wedge may be a little worry, but at the bottom? I don't think I would worry too much about it at the moment.
HC
"... if you've got a chart, I have an opinion!"
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holycow
Member
Username: holycow
Post Number: 745
Registered: 08-2004Rating: N/A
Votes: 0
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| | Thursday, January 27, 2005 - 06:00 pm: |
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What have "Pine Cone", "Toolchest", "Stone Ax", and "Toy Chest" in common?
Ans: Potential Deployment of Nuclear Weapon!
If you want to know more about these codes, check it out here, here and here
HC
"... if you've got a chart, I have an opinion!"
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holycow
Member
Username: holycow
Post Number: 746
Registered: 08-2004Rating: N/A
Votes: 0
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