Squawk+Moo #5
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     holycow
Member
Username: holycow
Post Number: 2716
Registered: 08-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0
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| | Friday, August 25, 2006 - 05:17 pm: |  
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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English
will be the official language of the European Union rather than German,
which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-
year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag
is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords containing
"ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
forst plas.
HC
"... if you've got a chart, I have an opinion!"
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holycow
Member
Username: holycow
Post Number: 2719
Registered: 08-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0
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| | Friday, August 25, 2006 - 05:34 pm: |
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... some trivia... now don't feel bad if you don't know some, or all of them! 
1. Q. Who were the first couple to be shown in bed together on prime
time TV?
A. Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
2. Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.
3. Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.
4. Coca-Cola was originally green.
5. It is impossible to lick your elbow.
6. Q. What American State has the highest percentage of people who
walk to work?
A. Alaska
7. The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in
1910.
8. The youngest pope was 11 years old.
9. The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer
10. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king
from history:
Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar
11. If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both of the
horses front legs in the air the person died in battle.
If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a
result of wounds received in battle.
If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died
of natural causes.
12. Q. What occurs more often in December than any other month?
A. Conception
13. Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular
boat name requested?
A. Obsession
14. Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A. Honey
15. Q. There are more collect calls on this day than any other day of
the year?
A. Father's Day
16. Q. What trivia fact about Mel Blanc (voice of Bugs Bunny) is the
most ironic?
A. He was allergic to carrots.
17. Q. What is an activity performed by 40% of all people at a party?
A. Snoop in your medicine cabinet
18. In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by
ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making
the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase "Goodnight, sleep
tight."
19. It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for
a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his
son-in-law with all the mead he could drink.
Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based,
this period was called the honey month. We know it today as the
"Honeymoon".
20. In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts. So in old
England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at
them, Mind your own pints and quarts and settle down". It's where
we get the phrase "Mind your P's and Q's".
21. Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked
into the rim or handle of their ceramic cups. When they needed a
refill, they used the whistle to get some service.
"Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.
22. In Scotland, a new game was invented. It was entitled Gentlemen
Only Ladies Forbidden. Thus the word GOLF entered into the English
language.
HC
"... if you've got a chart, I have an opinion!"
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